Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled?

7 Reasons for your question - Why Do I Feel Unfulfilled?

These seven areas are familiar to almost everyone, so let's look at why and how these areas can affect your sense of personal fulfillment. Any of these areas may not be how you would like it to be, and therefore just that one area can weigh heavily on a person and impact their sense of fulfillment.

But more often than not, it's not just one area; multiple areas affect your sense of fulfillment. So, as we go through the following areas, think about your own life and which one you feel as if something is lacking or missing.

1. Career and Profession

Where we work matters little; how we work matters a lot. – Veronica Ray – Choosing Happiness

To earn a living, people have a professional or career aspect to their lives. But each career or profession has different concerns, issues, and challenges.

You may have gotten a specialized degree or gone into a profession you thought would make you a lot of money. Many people find that they chose that profession because it would give them a lifestyle and monetary reward that they didn't currently have.

They used an analytical or logical approach to selecting that path.

And that all makes sense, but there's a problem with that.

The problem is either the overt or hidden emotion behind that decision. Often there is a fear of not having enough financial resources or not having enough recognition in another profession.

So, they choose that career or profession because it will help them overcome that fear of not having enough. You may have a belief system centered around the idea that if you are successful in this profession, you've addressed that fear even if that fear is subconscious.

It makes sense then that if you were in that profession and not achieving that financial success or recognition, then that fear hasn't been addressed, minimized, or overcome. If the fear is still there, then you really haven't achieved dominion in that area of your life.

With no control over your feelings about your career, you may ask yourself, "why do I feel unfulfilled?"

It also stands to reason that there is no emotional reward to your career or profession. You were looking for outside influences or external influences that give you a sense of satisfaction.

People often derive meaning from their work, and if the profession is not something they like or enjoy, it will be much harder for them to find a meeting if they are looking outside themselves to find fulfillment.

The truth is that your belief system, based on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, constitutes your assessment of your career.

You may have gotten stuck in the same thought, emotion, and behavior process, which became habitual and reinforced your view of your career.

Changing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors around that career and profession would be best to find fulfillment.

Sure, you can change your career profession, which might be the correct answer, but that's not always easy.

Yet, there are ways to change our conscious and subconscious mindsets around careers. Have a look at fulfillment in your job here for more ideas.



2. Family and Parenting

Another area of life that can be challenging has to do with family and especially parenting.

I'm going to make a wild guess and say nobody has given you an A-to-Z manual on being a parent. Or nobody has given you the perfect manual about how to interact with your family.

Being with family can be challenging, rewarding, or a mix somewhere in between.

Most people spend half their day at work or in their profession and the other half interacting with the family somehow.

It is common to see strife or lack of harmony in these relationships, and because it's a daily interaction, it can consume your thoughts quite a bit.

Just like in our profession, where we deal with coworkers and colleagues, we deal with people, usually in a much closer setting with family. That much more intimate setting can be more charged with more profound levels of emotion.

Your emotions can range from anger and frustration to joy and happiness. It is one thing to be angry at the moment; it's another thing to move from irritation at the moment to anger for the week, and that anger turns into a habit and then that anger turns into a temperament, and that temperament becomes a personality.

That's much-ingrained anger.

Take any other emotion that becomes a temperament or personality in you or a family member, which then can be very challenging to deal with that stronger set of emotions. And if we are looking for progress in this area with a family member, you may feel hopeless or overwhelmed, or just plain unsatisfied.

And those feelings most commonly lead you to ask the question once again, "why do I feel unfulfilled with my family?"



3. Relationships

Similar to a family area of life, you have social or intimate relationships.

An intimate relationship with a partner or spouse has its own set of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, it's own energy.

There is an energy around exchanging information and emotion with that spouse or partner.

There are also relationships in a social setting with friends that impact you. You often hear the saying that you need a good support network or a supporting partner or spouse.

But, if you don't have a supportive network or supporting individual, then when you have down moments, you don't bounce back from adversity as well as if you had a supportive relationship.

A supportive relationship can keep you uplifted in spirit more often than if you didn't have that supportive network or individual. That support can come in the form of encouragement and recognition.

 It is a potent force to have someone you were close with give you support in that way. And when you don't have it, it's pretty common to ask yourself a question "why do I feel unfulfilled?"

4. Finances

One of the more challenging areas of life centers around finances.

Society has most likely convinced you that your accomplishment in your financial health drives your success. The more wealthy you are, the more successful you are.

Social media and advertising promote the idea that you are not complete as a person if you haven't achieved financial success. More than any other area in life, financial health plays a critical role in sense of achievement.

Family roles have changed somewhat, but men are typically still the primary person responsible for their families' or intimate relationships' financial health. The pressure to succeed financially can take a heavy toll on men or women professionals who financially support the family the most.

You may either consciously or subconsciously determine that your self-worth relates directly to your financial health. It makes sense then that if you are not doing well financially and shoulder the most significant responsibility for more than one person in your family, then you feel like you may be a failure or, at best, a poor performer with finances.

People believe that the more money they have, the happier and more fulfilled they are.

That couldn't be further from the truth but with so much attention given to financial success in social media and society that it is tough to overcome that challenge.

And so you could find yourself asking, "why do I feel unfulfilled?" all because of your sense of your financial performance.



5. Health

One of the more apparent areas of life that impact your sense of satisfaction or fulfillment is your health.

The United States has an abysmal level of obesity and being overweight.

Many people struggle with low self-esteem because they feel unhealthy. If you find yourself feeling unhealthy, you are most likely faced with it daily.

Whether looking in the mirror or watching an advertisement, you notice that you are not healthy.

And when you see it, you probably feel that you are unhealthy, which evokes a sense of separation from being healthy.

When we have satisfied emotions about health, it is anabolic or uplifting energy.

When you are feeling depressed, you have catabolic or destructive energy around your sense of health. The catabolic energy of thinking and feeling sick often, out of shape, or overweight can consume much of your consciousness.

That destructive or negative mindset around health can lead to feeling unsatisfied or unfulfilled and making progress toward becoming healthy.

It stands to reason, that you might ask, "why do I feel unfulfilled in my health?"



6. Spiritual Awareness

Spiritual awareness is an area that's gaining more and more attention in society and with people today.

People aren't as religious yet, they are searching for meaning and purpose in life. And so, if they are not finding something greater than themselves, they start trying to find spirituality.

That increase in being more spiritual tends to lead to trying to become more aware of spiritual things or spiritual significance.

And when you don't feel connected to something bigger than yourself spiritually, you might feel life is a little empty.

When people connect to the divine or a higher sense of the universe, they feel closer to it and closer to something of significance.

If you find that you're not connected to something outside yourself of significance, then it is pretty easy to have and feel that your life is small and potentially insignificant.

If you feel insignificant and not connected to something larger than yourself, you may not feel a sense of satisfaction or purpose in life.

Your decreased spiritual awareness may lead you to ask yourself, "why do I feel unfulfilled?"

7. Fun & Enjoyment

Several areas of life can put a smile on your face. A significant area of life that can put a smile on your face is doing something or being a part of something that brings fun and enjoyment.

Finding activities that are fun and bring enjoyment are an area of life that is valuable. Fun and enjoyment can give a chance to release stress, bring joy, or break up day-to-day life's monotony with obligatory work, family, and financial responsibilities.

People who don't have fun and enjoyment in their life experience less joy and happiness typically.

So, an uplifting energy of elevated thoughts and emotions derived from doing something fun is a healthy component of a joyful life.

When you don't have joy in that area of your life, it can also lead to you asking, "why do I feel unfulfilled?"

Fortunately, you can improve all 7 of these areas once you become aware of your conscious and subconscious thoughts, the unconscious and subconscious emotions you feel, and the conscious and subconscious behaviors you make in these 7 areas.

Life Principle: We Are Each a Product of Our Own Belief System

5 Steps to Go from Feeling Unfulfilled to Feeling Fulfilled

In Steven Covey's NY Times Best Selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he shares some ideas and processes for making personal change. The simplified list below combines some of Covey's ideas with tools today's best coaches use.

You can also take a life fulfillment quiz to find which areas of your life have the least sense of fulfillment.

1. Assess the Current Situation

Ask yourself some of these questions about the areas where you need more fulfillment.

What is the first thing that comes up for you in an unfulfilled area?

What are all the feelings or emotions that come up about that area? There is usually more than one.

2. Create a New Vision

How do you want to think about that area?

How do you want to feel about that area?

How do you want to act in that area?

What is one step you could take to think, feel, or act that way?

What would your life look like if you were fulfilled in that area?

3. Uncover Beliefs That Are Holding You Back

Get to a quiet place where you will not be interrupted. Be a detached observer of yourself. Try to ask and answer these questions objectively.

Are the old feelings anabolic (uplifting) or catabolic (destructive)?

How attached are you to these feelings?

How often do you think of them knowingly?

How often are you subconsciously thinking and feeling them?

For how long in your life have you had these emotions and feelings?

Why do you think they keep recurring?

Are the influences external or habitual, internal responses regardless of the external influences?

Once you've answered these questions, you will have great insights into why you feel unfulfilled in that area.

4. Utilize Tools to Move Toward New Vision

Many tools are available, but it is ultimately a process of using them energetically. That process has to have an elevated energy to replace your current lower energy. Here are some tools that will help shift your energy higher.

-       Develop a mindfulness practice to catch yourself in the old ways of thinking and feeling

-       Practice meditation that visualizes and feels the new way you identified you want to be

-       Identify and engage in an activity consistently that will evoke the thoughts or feelings you do want to have (e.g., a work-out routine to feel like you are becoming healthier)

5. Have a Family Member, Friend, or Coach Hold You Accountable

This last step is critical.

A majority of people will start to change or do something new only to stop and not finish or not shift into the new state of being. That's why having someone to hold you accountable for your actions can help.

A family member or friend can play this role if you respect them and you typically respond well when they ask something of you.

That approach will work for some, but when it's a long-term challenge to shift into a new state of happiness or joy, those people don't have the resources to help you get there.

A well-trained and experienced coach can perform the mental surgery needed to identify and remove the blocks or reasons you won't follow through with your goals or new state of being fulfilled.

Life Principle: Life Offers Neither Problems Nor Challenges, Only Opportunities

If you feel like you need a guidance system, my PILOT Life Mastery program guides people to feeling significantly more fulfilled. (Yes, I'm a former Navy instructor pilot and I shamelessly embrace aviation themes and best practices!)

Or you can just have a free consultation to help you find the area of your life that cause you to feel unfulfilled.